Friday, May 01, 2009, 10:57 AM
THe previous post is what eva i typed on Monday right after TRMK, truthfully, was really impacted. coz realize that what i thought really may not be the best. THus, cozing mag they all to be angry and all, and also thaslim and jaslyn, coz break them up. hiaz.. all the mistakes that i
made this week.
Including making Ms Ng disappointed in us. and it's like, Ms Ng has always supported our class, but we disappointed her. Which really impacts me so much more. We were really... ... im at a lost for words.
I just really want to keep the peace, to make sure that everything is balenced out and to keep as many people as possible happy. Not for my own gains but for the class. But as what i ve said, there maybe other solutions that i have over looked. for that, I have to APOLOGISE TO TR01.
But really, thank you yw and carrie for standing up for me. and to carrie, i know. you're right. live with it. i wun say, its easy for you to say, but rather, i ll live with what i have chosen to do and take up. and, as what i have always believed but sometimes forget, still think the best leaders, are the servant leaders. which leads to below.
All these makes me think back about me being a leader. and just nice, art of war was talking bout leadership too. and i started reflecting, where was i? which level am i at? Was i too fickle, not strong enough to make the decision, not strong enough to lead, not decisive, that's why our class was so chaotic? I really have no idea which level am i, and what should be better, as mentioned before (keep the peace). and i guess, everything came down to 1 thing. i really felt kinda tired about leading. and then this reminds me of the conversation that i had with eliza. What's the point of doing so much, leading so much? What's the main objective. If its all about the aims and things driven, sooner or later we'll get really tired. Which truthfully, I am. But if its for GoD, if i do it not for resumes, not for socializing, but for GoD. Sincerely, I love doing it. It's really kinda natural for me to do so all the time. So yar, i need to go back to the basis of WHY i' m doing it. Because, at the
end of the day, if the proj is good, if an event is sucessful, i shouldnt want people to say, hey ariana, good job, but its because of the God, the the event was so smooth! Glory to GoD! LOL. and daddy oso said something to me to..that it's ok that your reason to do things are coz of results or coz you love them, as long as you just give thanks for everything. haha..
And i m sure, i ll then NOT feel tired, and also be able to do what i love and what i m good at.
Thank GoD for bringing me so far, and thank GoD for keeping His promises.
haha..my post is kinda jumble, type the top,the bottom, then the middle then the bottom and all. but was really trying to show what i want to tell. so yar!
love ya mummy and daddy. i know you're kinda worried. thanks for everything!!! i will jia you de!!
to yw: hope its entertaining enuff! haha