Wednesday, January 30, 2008, 8:55 AM
29Jan 11.54 pm
Haha.. funny that i have this habit of blogging after my internet is off. I think its coz i can blog since now i m not chatting. Haha..funny how my close friends have the same problems as me. Makes you feel better. Not really coz we have the same probs, but coz they are coming to you to talk to you bout it. makes tt friendship so much more tight. That you could be there for them. Anw, i m abit down now. As in, not really hyped up or cheerful that i usually am. but don’t really wanna blog bout it larr..but if you wanna noe, you can ask me..haha..ehh.. tmr, CIP presentation, shld be not too bad larr...i trust my grp. I think its starting to be a habit to go to ourspace. Even though i probably wont go after sch since sch ends so late, i ll be there in the early morn before lesson starts. Starting to like it there alot. Really wanna study even though i haven really been doing that. But i will. Try. Haha..hiaz...
Abit down today..do you know why?...izzit bcoz of you?... ... ...
i m in our space now!!LOL
Monday, January 28, 2008, 2:42 PM
my post before i disappear to study. even though i know i ll still come back to blog quite soon since i cant really study for long. i l still in sch though. dun feel lyk goin home. rather be in sch alone and you can see people and you wun face four walls then home alone. haha.. hmm..i should really study my macro and go thru the past yr paper and PRINT the articles for the last qns which i hv failed so far.. after macro then bmgt. then i ll read my fabm book and hom at home. those 2 subjs seem more suitable to study at home. dunoe why. haha..then of course. CIP which i have been avoiding for a v v v v v long time. haha..so yupps..bye!!
Sunday, January 27, 2008, 2:53 PM
suppose to be posted at 27jan 1.34 am
just came back hm from winnie's wedding. not the trm winnie, the crusade winnie..haha..just wanna thank GoD for her, for all her help and pray that GoD will cont to bless her, esp her marriage with her newly wedded husband! haha.. haha..guess wad. winnie threw the bouquet of roses, with only me jean jie jie and wendy behind to catch larr..lol..guess who caught it???????
whaha..me!!! lol. actually i shouldnt, should have let jean jiejie catch..LOL..ahem ahem.. ppl should noe what i mean. haha..but hey, i caught it leii..v big deal for me ehh..lol..it's like doing something that only happens in tv. but does tt mean anything? lol..i dunoe..haha
actually, me, jean jiejie, wendy n josh gorgor was lyk barely on time today. even though we were suppose to be there early..lol.long story larr..haha..but at least we got ta saw the march in. but didnt get to sit with the rest of the crusade ppl..haha..i think first time i wear dress with light makeup..haha..and heels. even though in the end i got tired with my heels and started walking bare footed..haha..wendy was scolding me..haha..but cant help it..barefooted feels so comfortable even though i knew the floor was really dirty..haha..and that was so much more ariana..haha.. then after leaving the church, went ta novena to celebrate Laniel Diu's bdae!! haha..he was really shocked larr..wahaha..coz he believed sinyi..wahahaha..then we had the whole shaving cream mess-up party..wahahaha..then laniel dumb larr..go n eat the cream..coz he thot it was whipped creamm..wahahahahaha super funny ehh..then it was lyk, after blowing the candles, taking photo, caleb prayed, we had the total spray cream party..lol..funny larr..all the guys hold daniel down when caleb prayed..wahahaha..then we gave laniel his present, (new shirt, coz we knew he would need a new shirt as we bought the shaving cream on the same day..wahahaha) then laniel started creaming other ppl..lol..of course i got it too..lol..i lost all my "feminity" once we went outa the church..lol..was screaming and creaming everyone..wahaha..fun larr..then can run around. coz i was barefooted..haha..then in the end laniel got so much cream that he coud style his hair the famous beckham spike style..LOL..of course, we all went to clean up in the toilet and got abit of cake. then took pic with laniel in his new shirt that i chose.wahaha..with wendy n jean jiejie larr..haha..but i really lyk to shop for guy's clothes. more fun lorr.. i dun lyk to shop for gal's clothes, can never noe what to get..haha..guy's so much more fun..haha..oh yarr..did i say b4, if i have bf rite..i wanna wear his jacket..i dunoe why larr..but yarr, that's something that i d wanna do..haha..
the journey home was also quite fun. gor drive, jean front seat, me wendy seth behind. haha..lots of jokes and stuff..
but all in all, i noe i need to stay close with GoD, and be paitent, really really patient. coz wad i want may not be what GoD wans. and as they always say, why settle for second best when GoD has the BEST in stored for you?
hiaz...if only the govt didnt make social studies compulsory........
Friday, January 25, 2008, 11:04 AM
2nd post of the day..funny. i always say that i dun wanna do the same things all over again. but things keep on happening repeatedly all over again. sian...it's like, when will i ever overcome the obstacle, or izzit that in actual fact, the same things does constantly occur in your life? and its becoming tougher and tougher each day, each year. am i becoming.......i dunoe what to say larr..i actually have so much to do. but i m still blogging. and i was playin stupid games and quizes. lame..and i m freezing cold now. super super cold. you noe, i have always been afraid of the cold. since i was a kid. canot stand cold. but if you think in the literature kind of way. what does cold symbolizes, it means empty, without warmth. warmth of the sun, lack of the fuzzy feeling, lack of company. do you know why? because in the cold, the best way to keep warm is to keep close to another person, let the body heat keep close to each other. which is to hug each other. that then leads to the "warm, fuzzy" feeling to company. this is what it all voices down to. heat right now, i m feeling super cold. freezing to be exact in ourspace. serious. my teeth is chattering and i m shivering. but i refuse to go.. tell me why..tell me why i refuse to go from this cold cold place
But then, GoD is light and GoD gives that warm fuzzy feeling of LoVe and comfort. he gives you all that you want. so what am I looking for??what am i confused bout?? i guess, like what seth said..RUI!!!! Stop analyzing life. Just live life. Analysis is what makes life complicated.
, 9:03 AM
wahahahaha...rui doesnt want to think! rui just wanna have fun, do well in sch, make my parents happy and proud. this is sooooo easy. but making DaDDy happy..wahhhhhhhhh super hard larr..
but then again, what i heard last night, is abit hard to digest. coz, i kinda know what is right, but then again, from what my mum was saying, its like different. but deep down, i kinda know, what's not right. but what is not right may also not be wrong wad....haha..i think i m gonna scare my ahma with what i m bloggin. coz if i m not wrong, she knows what i m talking about.
wahahahahaha.....but..aiya......... as what someone has said of me before, think too much, too logical, then it kinda defeats all the purpose. so hiazzzzzz...........i dunoe le larr..haha..
Wednesday, January 23, 2008, 3:22 PM
in fabm lecture. had quite a horrible time. i dunoe. sudden attack. and its hard larr..its really hard to follow GoD. especially for someone who thinks so much. I noe i love HiM, but we live in a world of sin. that i feel, is constantly polluting me. Did i mention i don't like the age 18. Its the age where all the stuff gets complicated and things start to change. Not that i dont like change. I do, i love changes, but, just not this change i guess. But i will not escape and say i do not want to grow up, cause i will obey GoD to grow and and not cont to be foolish. BUT, its hard!! really, sometimes, i really have no idea of what's right and what's wrong anymore. If only eve didnt eat the forbbiden fruit which gives wisdom if i m not wrong. But then again , if she want to eat, why not just eat it all?? then at least we wun have so much problems of not understanding so much stuff..but then again,
please dun read what i have blogged above. its soooooo wrong.
i dunoe what i want. and i dunoe what GoD wants.
but as wad choo say, i may noe all the ans, but i just dun wanna face and confirm the ans and just remain in the state of unknowing.
anw, back from FABM break, now i m no longer in the mood to pay attention. During break, did stupid stuff again..haha..i always do stupid stuff anw. turning in circles and trying to dance in the open space next to LT 72. haha. i miss dance. i miss turing in circles, doin jumps and hurting my self the the right way (stretching larr..wad we you thinking..lol)..haha.. i really should get back to dance. i really do love dance afterall.. chinese dance. i wanna dance. but...
anw, doing what is right and what is wrong. hmmm... actually, why cant we do things that we know is wrong? ha..
hiaz...all in all of this random blog post, i love one thing that Choo said. If you donoe if you can do something or not, ask yourself. If Jesus is standing next to you, would you feel guilty as He sees you do it?
Monday, January 21, 2008, 10:09 AM
As usual, its late and i have no internet connection coz mum and dad turned it off. At first, i wanted to blog bout OH and all that has happened, the fun, the laughter and everything. I will, but ltr. I realise that there is something else really important. GoD. Really. Seriously speaking, i haven’t been spending alot of time with GoD these few days. But i can sense that He desperately has things to tell me. And how do i noe? By the fact that He uses other people to talk to me.
Funny thing. rastus n rasmus rarely blogs, the last time i went to check. Then today, i suddenly saw one of them promoting their blog. So i went to check it out. There it was. God shouting out to me. I use to always think it is harder for those baptised as a kid, born in a Christian family to be on fire for GoD. But he proved me wrong. Totally. Besides the call from the blog that it IS possible to be able to have a great life in total reliance on God. Suddenly, Gifford from envoys started a conver on msn. Seriously, i cldnt really remember his face when he first started conver with me. Sry Gifford, my memory span is comparable to a goldfish. Anw, he’s a Christian too! And he was baptised in the same church as me St Andrew’s Ct. in the same situation. Who noes we may be baptised together coz they always do baby baptise a few at a go. And wow. He’s another Christian who is so on fire for GoD. Wow. GoD proved me wrong and shut me up from all my excuses. And i really have to thank GoD for this. I could really start to see his plan. All from the beginning, getting me to join envoys and stuff. But wait. Who know’s that may not even be the beginning, it maybe from o levels to get me into ngee ann. I have no idea. But then again, should i be surprised? Actually, not. GoD has a special plan for all of us, every single one. Is just whether we are willing to give HiM the throne of our life. To accept HiM as our lord and saviour, to bring us out of darkness everytime we fall. And give us a place in HiS kingdom for eternity.
From what i have said from above, you would be able to see that i m not sinless and i my life aint always right. That’s because it’s human nature to sin. But God has sent his Only Son, Jesus to die for us to redeem us from our sins, to always be there for us. And yes, i noe that this may piss lots of people of and i may lose friends because of what i am going to say. But this time, i wanna use GoD’s strength to give m courage to post this, to be his witness. Jesus is the ONLY way, the truth and the light to rescue use and assure us a place away from hell and in heaven. As long as you accept HiM and put HiM first place in your life, you ll see HiM working in ways you ll never expect.
Oh yar, i almost forgot to mention. GoD loves you every single one of you out there. Even if you don’t noe HiM, he still loves you. Even if you don’t love HiM, he still loves you. He’s just waiting for you. Waiting for you to accept HiM, so that he can pour out his many gifts and blessings specially meant for you.
I m not lying. Coz wad i said was not from me, but from the bible. If you ain’t convinced that the GoD that i m talking about aint real, scroll back up to read the first paragraph. Things don’t happen by coincidence, they happen for a reason. Because GoD is working. GoD is alive and living. I cant say that i noe everything bout GoD, coz i wld be lying. But i noe that He loves me and He is always there for me when i fall even when i turn my back on HiM before. He loves me and you. If you wanna noe more, add me in msn or email me ariana_02@hotmail.com or anything. If you wan reference, you can go to my links to read the ras twin blog and gifford’s blog or even add them on msn. All that is in this post is real. GoD is real.
Sunday, January 20, 2008, 8:49 PM
its exactly 8.51 onmy lappy and i refuse to see my other clock with most probably will show 9+.. i promise i ll start to study at 9. everyone is scaring me that exams are approaching. but is exams really approaching?? it seems still quite far leii. its next month ehh..but then again, i haven been paying much of any attention too all my classes and have been missing quite a few classes coz have been sick. i have alot to study. damn. and tmr is jap speaking test!! wahhhhhhh how!!!?!? calm down calm down.
oh no!! i went to digress.. its now 8.58. damn. no! 20.59...
i need to go.. i ll go study then come back soon...coz i really got lots of stories to tell!!
, 1:59 PM
so this is the horoscope thingy that has been going around all this while. so lets take a look at mine. for the fun of it. bold red will be not wrong, orange will be totally wrong and pink is okok, the rest will be no comments
CANCER WOMAN
When she is in love, she will act both ways. First, Shy and polite trembling to be near you. Second, Attach to you like glue and trying to be with youall the times. She will try to go home with you after work, or have everylunch with you. It is O.K. if you like her too, but if is is not thecase,you will feel very uncomfortable.
She hates to be talked about or gossiped by someone else. If she knows she will be very hurt. In nature she is a shy type, except she has been influenced by some other Zodiac. She is not a brave or daring type, so if you like her then you better be the one who start first. She will not accept her true feeling, so if you like here you better tell her first.
She is like a musical note always change in tunes, so one minute she can be funny and cheerful, and one minute she can be sad and depress. (not many ppl have seen me sad or depressed siaz..stress maybe..depressed, unlikely) Other people may think of her as 'Over-acting', or 'Over-reacting'.
When she is depress, she will go out and look for things to make it up. She loves money, and thinks of having 'Money' as 'happy', not as 'God'. She will not look down at you if you do not have a lot of money, but she will help you make money, save money. She is not an extravagant person and sometimes will tell you not to buy her expensive and not useful gift.
She is the type who enjoy a long and quiet walk.(depends on my mood larr) Cancer woman also influenced by the 'moon', so under the moon light she will be fascinating woman.
She has a constant fear for many things. (not many things larr..juz not being smart enuff and being forgotten i guess..) She fear of not being smart enough,not pretty enough. Even if she is not fat, she will not be satisfy.(But even though have fear some times..but i oso quite confident de k...lol..wait..actually is not fear, is always wanna be better, spirit of EXCELENCE!!) Assuring her of her look would help, because she can change mood 4 times a day.
She is not stingy, but you will not surprise if you see she collecting oldor broken junks. She sees that everything are useful to her. She will find away to re-use it again some day. She is not a jealous type,but possessive.
The best part of her is that she will sacrifice everything for her love one with no limit. Don't leave her in times of troubles, she will never forget it.(i always forget the bad stuff that has happened. i only rmb good stuff!! but not tt i wan ppl to leave me larr..is juz tt i ll forgive AND forget de..) She is not a weak type, even she looks like one, Example if you argue with her, she might cry her heart out. Once you left, she will wipe her tears and start clean up her apartment normally.She is a very careful mother and will look after her kids every steps of theway. If she is a mother of your children, you are at ease, but if she isyour mother in law, you are in pain. Not to worry, this type of mother inlaw will not let her own daughter being an 'Old mate'.
She could be moody and argue with you in many little things like many women,but she always wait and want to take care of you. If you argue with her and disappear a few days, she will be waiting for you, but not for long O.K. This kind of testing is risky, try not to do it.
The Cancer woman need 2 things to be happy which are 'Work' and 'Love'. She can be live in a dusty house, but she can not live in that same house with no Love.
haha..k larr..not too bad.. juz that this horoscope has one major mistake. they make it seem that cancer ppl are very shy, quite, those xiao niao yi ren tt kinda girls..then lyk alwyas very paranoid, a small member in the group who doesnt voice opinions, very quite at a corner who will agree to anything and always very moody de..xiao. ariana moody. sky drop liao lo..lol..
i dont lyk the overall image of cancer and the overall image of cancer is so not me. if you just read the whole thing, the image that forms in your mind is SO NOT ME. but yet if you see alot of red color that i say is not wrong, is actually individual points.
like the first one, my mood can change very fast. true. if you make me pissed, i very fast de, but i dont really stay mad long. but i m sooo seldom depressed n emo n ... and of course i love to act, ppl always say i very drama wad..lol..
oh yarr..if i get upset, unhappy, i confirm chop chop will go out de. shopping, walk around wadsoeva. i ll definetly not go home. coz..home..if you noe me, you ll noe why. i dont like expensive stuff..true. cheap and nice, can make you happy can le wad..lol.
constant fear of many things. crazy. i so daring, where got fear de..if is the fear of not being smart enuff. is acutally, i want to be smart and i dun like to be dumb. even though i may sometimes act dumb..lol..but it's call the spirit of excellence. i fear of not being good enough so i wanna constantly improve and be better mahh..ask my proj grp mates, they ll totally understand. fat, tell me which girl doenst say she's fat. LOL. of course reassurance everyone oso wan rite..
oh yarr.. i have lots of junk tt i like to keep, coz i bu she de throw wad. everything has a story to tell. and i oso lazy to pack to see which one can throw which one can keep and where to keep.haha.
which girl doesnt sarcifice her love you with no limit, if you truely love tt person, of course will sacrifice larr..
as i have said, i m not weak, and i dun like meaningless stuff..besides, i m very logical too. i dun do dumb stuff.
and of course, i love to work. i like the sense of accomplishment!
, 2:14 AM
its 214 am on 20th jan. and i 'm blogging!! wad the hell am i doin?? i have no idea!! wahahaha..i m actually super super tired. but..i wanna blog. but damn. my brain aint working. i guess. i shld go to slp after all. wahahaha..church tmr!!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008, 3:35 PM
let me blog before i proceed to doing my CIP (elearning and eportfolio) and my LMS blog post. then i can study jap before going for my test. then after i go home, do my bmgt proj. I m really trying to rush everything in order to be able to do open hse whole heartedly. and i actually just realized that bmgt only need to be handed up on nxt fri. so actually, there's not much to rush. things are more in the slow paced mode. But this also means that i have lots of studying that i need to catch up on. Oh yar, there's hom mock test tmr. and i have still have no idea how to check out and pay. the notes in mel aint v helpful either. 1 word. DIE. i wanna prac after next week, before the test. hmm.. shld email ms ho..kkz. juz mailed. back to blogging. need to study all the lectures that I havent really been paying attention to. Like bmgt, cip, and of course to study fabm and hom that have not have any common test. Crap i still owe Ms Ng my marksheet and 1 more journal. wait. did i misplace my marksheet? oh no..gotta go hm make sure its still around. Oh yarr. shld i wait for the next lecture on banquet of juz do beverage and finish up? hhmm...if wait till ltr, dunoe can finish in time or not ehh..i really really really need to study. what if my GPA drop, what if i cant make it to UNI? im in crusade room now, joyce has her friend with her. and her friend has not been accepted in any uni of all that she has applied to. DIE. how?? what if i end up like her? then again, its's not for me to plan and i shouldnt worry right, i should trust GoD. but why do I worry bout the future all the time? why do I almost always fear that I cant enter uni? contridiction all the time. my life is always about sch. damn. hiaz..i gtg..if not i ll never study for jap
Sunday, January 13, 2008, 9:27 PM
rui has stuff to say. lots of stuff. lots of stuff running through her mind. coz lots of things has happened that she wans to record so that she will not forget. juz tt, she dunoe what she can say and wad she cannot. and soo many things has happened that she dunoe how to start. firstly, she's not going for gen12. and she's not longer upset bout it. and she has also come to know why her DaDDy doesnt wan her to be in the ST. her understands and will try her best to wait and learn even though she is one impatient person. She knows that her parents also want the best for her and she also know that actually it is also her fauly for being so different all the time.
rui also did something that she didnt think she would do 2 days ago. She had no idea that she would say stuff that she said. Funny things just happened that way. and now rui is feeling much more comfortable and at ease after saying what she has said. rui wans to give credit to her best friend who has helped her to say such stuff even though her best friend also didnt really do much in the first place.
rui also start to realise that she is actually a v logical person despite having huge reactions to some kind of emotions. She is starting to realise that because she is so logical that can cause her to quite man at times. Also, being too logical has also caused her to lose quite some stuff..some experiences. rui just thinks too much and likes to think too much.
rui loves her friends. all her friends. and she is starting to see who are gaining importance in her life. rui is also realising that her DaDDy puts different people in her life for different reasons and she wans to thank her DaDDy soo much for them.
However, despite the fact that rui thinks alot and loves to think, rui has an area that she doesnt wan to venture into. Maybe rui thinks that by deluving into this area, she may realise that there are things that she regret in her life and that things in her life maybe largely different in she had thought through this area. But even though she doesnt want to deluve into this area, this topic has been appearing in her head quite often. Yet, rui also likes the state that she is in right now. She loves the ease and burden-less feeling she has now. in other words, rui is quite contridicting and abit confused of herself.
Other then all these stuff, rui knows that she will be very busy in the next week rushing her remainding projects and open house and struggling between studying for the upcoming exams and enjoying herself to prevent herself from getting too stressed.
rui has a last point she wants to make. rui believes in friends forever. Close friends forever. rui wans the ppl that she wans this point to be made clear be known to the ppl that should know this point. rui also wans these people to trust her that she will do anything she can that is right to make sure that what she believes will be true.
rui is going now!... ... ... ...
Friday, January 11, 2008, 4:41 PM
tell me. why am i in school? i suddenly think i m doing the wrong thing. DAMN why? i dont feel like going for envoys thingy. coz in the first place, i didnt even sign up for it. DAMN. it was just thrown on me. but why didnt i just push it away? AGAIN. de javu. Again. i never ever learn from my mistakes. i never think before i agree and i can never learn how to push away. And i always end up escaping. i dont like it when i end up this way.
anw. haha.. i was writing on the bus. Back to the Peter Pan theory. If you've been talking to me or reading my blog lately, you'd understand what i am talking my...i ll cont later
Wednesday, January 09, 2008, 9:09 PM
Hi peeps. Tmr is the big day. haha. not very big larr. Just that it's the last battle of our 40% war. Hopefully, things goes well. I just. after everything that's been done, and all the last minute work, i really really wanna do well. dun need to win anything, just give me an A. that's really all i pray for. Just that, i haven been the best person to work with these few days. ha! and GoD had to remind me twice in a day to trust HiM and leave everything to him. And after listening and calming myself down, i still wanna control things in my own way. man. horrible me.
And actually these few days, stress alot, thot alot. dun really like things. Never liked deja vu. Never did. Because when it happens, it means that I screw things up ALL OVER AGAIN. really. mayb not screw up, but, the same not nice stuff happened again. and i m goin to end up having to find and search again. i really dont like this feeling. but i guess, its inevitable for me.
Monday, January 07, 2008, 9:59 PM
Was really pissed and disappointed earlier. Horrible. Cause the menu presentation is..um... un-presentable, as compared to all the other menu from other groups. Damn. It was kinda like, i felt that they misused my trust. I believed that they would do a gd job, and yarr..sure, their content was great. BUT the menu presentation sucked. Big time. Then, to rescue the menu and to get our whole proposal printed NICELY, i missed macro tutorial. Yarrr...ARIANA PONNED A TUTORIAL. And macro. Of all modules, my fav macro. It wouldn’t be really suprising if i missed cip. But macro..wow. so guess the total cost of my project. $18.50 PER PERSON. Cool rite. But at least the report is nice, and almost well done. The menu saved from hell but not from disgrace.( at least the content is great). Right now, i m more worried bout something else. PRESENTATION. Damn. My proposal will now be depended on my presentation. But, it looks sucky. Really. But then again, i HAVE to trust GoD. Coz if i don’t, all hope is gone.
Oh yarr, i have jap test next wk. Worried worried worried. Coz i haven’t been memorising anything. I mean, i understand and i noe the grammer and stuff. But, i m not very good at the vocab. I have never been gd at vocab for any language anw. LOL. So yupps, that’s all that has happened in a hetic day of my mon. I have made it seem better that it was. I was really really pushy and bossy and really not being very nice today. Just ask my proj mates. I m sure they ll be glad to explain.
Cheers!
Sunday, January 06, 2008, 6:47 PM
i am not doing work even though i know i have tons to do. but i m not doin. and i m starting to fear for my gpa now. but i m not doin work!! but i will. later. damn. i really fear that i m unable to score As for these modules. I m really freaked out that my GPA will drop. I dont even Think bout being top student or whatsoeva. Now i m just scared that my gpa this sem would cause me to be unable to go into Uni.
damn. i hate it..........zzzzzzzzzz
have you ever wondered, why is it that all the popular shows are all on relationships and romance. Its like the core of every show! damn. then they just change the problem in the relationship and edit the environment. then voila! you have another drama series. man. it sucks. right now, to me, it sucks big time.
Friday, January 04, 2008, 8:24 PM
Philosophical ariana is back. Trust me. I ve got lots of things to say. Firstly, on ytd’s lm. Dr Diu was talking bout love. Ha.funny topic to be talking about these days, especially since it has really kinda be the topic that has been surrounding me these few days.Dr Diu started of by the love of people. People’s love being very conditional. Dont you think so. When people choose their life long partners, they choose ppl that are more suitable that fits their criteria. For example, this guy likes this gal for her looks. But what if she becomes disfigured due to an accident? Will he still love her? So tell me what’s unconditional love? This thing puzzled me. Got me confused for quite a while. I was thinking, does that mean that if you have unconditional love, you ll juz totally love that person for no reason? But then again is there a reason for love? But after all the messed up questions, i got it. FINALLY. True unconditional love is to know someone and truely accepts and love him/her just the way he is. Is that even possible between mankind? So what bout me? You know, i m dumb, i love to argue. I love to whine. I have inferiority and superiority complex both at the same time. And i m growing fatter by the minute. Is there anyone that can know me, know my heart and still love me for who i am? i know 5 at the moment. Rather son and holy spirit, my human mum and my human dad. But anyone else? Its still a mystery to me. And you see this. I ll only love someone that truely accepts me. But then again, i may not. Ha. I m so contradicting today. Anyway, back to the fact. Human’s love is just dirty.So just imagine how filthy our love for God is.Isnt it so? If God gives you what you want, you love him abit more. If you disobey and cause problems for yourself and then think that its is God’s fault you ll love him less. Its our sinful human nature. You cant change it.
So, ultimately its not bout our love for each other or our love for God. It’s GoD’s love for us! Its the pureset and ever lasting. Nothing that we can do, or nothing that we don’t do can make God love us less. But then again, funny ppl like me would like to think. That also means that nothing we can do or nothing that we don’t do will make God love us more. Then again, funny me would also like to know, does God loves every single one of us equally? Or does he have favourites? Like Mozilla or IE, we have the favourites list. Does God have our names stored like that then clicks on one that he likes to check out how they are doin? But then again, its not for me to say..lol..But no matter what, i know that God truely loves me and his love for me is pure.
Next, i ll like to talk about a good hair stylist. Right now, i m in a hair salon that has only bad hair stylist but there’s nothing that i can do about it. Coz its not for me to choose. It’s free and the person who pays is the one who choose. I m just a follower. But that doesn’t mean i cant comment. Right now, i think my hair is in a mess, but it doesn’t really matter coz it has always been a mess anyway. Not much of a loss for me. Ppl who are close around me should know by now that i love to change and play around with me hair. So it’s just something different. But bak to the topic on Good hair sty;ist. I believe that good hairstylist doesn’t ask you what hair style do you want .But they would suggest to you what style suits you most accordingto the fashion. He should shove you a hairstyle book for you to choose. IThat’s an irresponsible hair stylist. Dont you think so. It’s like the hair stylist would just cut according to the book and style you choose. If in the end it looks bad on you, he or she would just say, oh, you chose it, i just cut according to what you want. Its not MY faul it looks bad. Argh. That’s why i have always love to go to a hair salon that can suggest a good hair style for me. But so far, i haven found any hair salon that has fit my requirement. But i don’t think that there are no such hair salons. Its just that i m not rich enough to go to those good and professional hair stylist. But nvm, i m ok with my current situation. Coz bad hair styles is unique. Not everyone can do it! haha..i got stop. I wanna do work later!!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008, 8:31 PM
blogging now..after a whole day of the first day in sch. mixed feelings i guess. its great to see my friends once again. realize that i miss them quite abit. and they, i noe and i hope, will be playin a huge role in my life. then again, my sec sch friends will be graduating next year when i m still only in yr2,yr3. which means i ll be kinda like lac one year. its abit..how to say.. i guess i m abit insecure by the fact that they will experience something before me. as in, i dont mind tt they experience something different, liky poly jc. but i guess its still abit hard for me to adapt that they will be better then me as they would know more than me. i guess, i still cant get over superority complex. As humble as i try to be, i still like to know more. i think its less of being better, coz i noe sooooooo many people who are better then me in sooo many different ways. and lots of ppl who noe more stuff then me. but, i juz dunoe why. i like to know more. always had, and i guess, maybe always will.
juz finished reading DTF. actually, i haven been listening to every single episode. but i kinda noe the overall story. really touching. but, i just seems too beautiful, very make believe. i really dunoe what to expect or what to wish for. coz, meta kinda changed my opinion on some stuff. so it has really blurred me up. then there's also this tv programme frm last wk.
nian2 qing1 shi2, yao4 jie4 se4. in eng, it means that the one thing that youngersters should abstain/avoid etcetc, is love/lust/romance/BGR..etcetc. i guess, at the age of 17 goin on 18, (the age that when i was a 5, i asked my dad, how old do i need to be to have a bf, the age my gd ol' daddy said)18. the age where ppl always noes there will be a huge change. inner and outer. the age where you can change for the gd, or for the bad. where you can get your drving liscense, watch m18 movies, purchase alcohol Legaly, even go clubbing. Funny how it is that they allow us to do more "bad stuff" as we grow older.
frm my point of view, its stressful to grow up (this is coming frm a gal who wishes to by like peter pan). the older we grow, the more choices we get, the more decisions we have to make. And they also always say that the type of decisions we make shows our matuarity.
But to me, sometimes, i ll rather you not give me a choice. i ll rather you limit me. yes, its the lazy way, but on the other hand, its the way that i ll be safe. i ll be right.
And dont you say that i m this freak that is just trying to escape. Its just that i show it openly, and others dont. really. many others have this kinda feeling too. not liking to make choices. Why do you think ppl love to say the word "anything lar". its this popular phrase that allows this brand of canned drink to be so popular. by buying a can of anything, it saves you the trouble of thinking, and prevents yourself for being blamed because you can never make the wrong choice because it wasnt YOU who made the choice. aint i right?
but then again, all this crap above is written by a gal in denial of growing up and not wanting to welcome the new year coz she wants to be like peter pan.
so..i think it is better for me not to go into uni before my friends. then, i get to grow up slower..
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!