Wednesday, January 02, 2008, 8:31 PM
blogging now..after a whole day of the first day in sch. mixed feelings i guess. its great to see my friends once again. realize that i miss them quite abit. and they, i noe and i hope, will be playin a huge role in my life. then again, my sec sch friends will be graduating next year when i m still only in yr2,yr3. which means i ll be kinda like lac one year. its abit..how to say.. i guess i m abit insecure by the fact that they will experience something before me. as in, i dont mind tt they experience something different, liky poly jc. but i guess its still abit hard for me to adapt that they will be better then me as they would know more than me. i guess, i still cant get over superority complex. As humble as i try to be, i still like to know more. i think its less of being better, coz i noe sooooooo many people who are better then me in sooo many different ways. and lots of ppl who noe more stuff then me. but, i juz dunoe why. i like to know more. always had, and i guess, maybe always will.
juz finished reading DTF. actually, i haven been listening to every single episode. but i kinda noe the overall story. really touching. but, i just seems too beautiful, very make believe. i really dunoe what to expect or what to wish for. coz, meta kinda changed my opinion on some stuff. so it has really blurred me up. then there's also this tv programme frm last wk.
nian2 qing1 shi2, yao4 jie4 se4. in eng, it means that the one thing that youngersters should abstain/avoid etcetc, is love/lust/romance/BGR..etcetc. i guess, at the age of 17 goin on 18, (the age that when i was a 5, i asked my dad, how old do i need to be to have a bf, the age my gd ol' daddy said)18. the age where ppl always noes there will be a huge change. inner and outer. the age where you can change for the gd, or for the bad. where you can get your drving liscense, watch m18 movies, purchase alcohol Legaly, even go clubbing. Funny how it is that they allow us to do more "bad stuff" as we grow older.
frm my point of view, its stressful to grow up (this is coming frm a gal who wishes to by like peter pan). the older we grow, the more choices we get, the more decisions we have to make. And they also always say that the type of decisions we make shows our matuarity.
But to me, sometimes, i ll rather you not give me a choice. i ll rather you limit me. yes, its the lazy way, but on the other hand, its the way that i ll be safe. i ll be right.
And dont you say that i m this freak that is just trying to escape. Its just that i show it openly, and others dont. really. many others have this kinda feeling too. not liking to make choices. Why do you think ppl love to say the word "anything lar". its this popular phrase that allows this brand of canned drink to be so popular. by buying a can of anything, it saves you the trouble of thinking, and prevents yourself for being blamed because you can never make the wrong choice because it wasnt YOU who made the choice. aint i right?
but then again, all this crap above is written by a gal in denial of growing up and not wanting to welcome the new year coz she wants to be like peter pan.
so..i think it is better for me not to go into uni before my friends. then, i get to grow up slower..
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
